This month, after about four years, we say “good bye” to our pastor and his spouse. Like so many experiences in our lives, we sometimes take saying “goodbye” for granted. A loved one moves away or passes. We are gutsy and brave as we suppress the pain of the loss. Years later, we realize we still haven’t overcome the brokenness. We wish we’d taken the time to say goodbye properly. So, I want to encourage every parishioner to say goodbye. Do it in your own style – au revoir, adieu, hasta la vista, ciao – but do it.

Now, let’s take a closer look at the origins of the word, “goodbye”? Over 500 years ago, goodbye was an Old English word that was rendered “Godbwye”, a contraction of the saying “God be with ye.”[1] As I think more deeply about my church, I realize that goodbye also means transition or changeover. My congregation will be saying goodbye to the departing minister and eventually “hello” to another, if a replacement is not sent immediately.

Transitions or changeovers can be challenging. Just think about the feelings of those who seized Jesus and put Him to death. No doubt, some of them were exuberant; they had finally gotten rid of (or so they thought) the challenging, itinerant, relatively inexperienced thirty-three-year-old preacher (remember Jesus only had three and a half years of preaching experience) who caused them so much trouble.

Now contrast this with how the disciples must have felt during the time of Jesus’ arrest, trial, death and burial. Despite all of His previous warnings and disclosures, there were still feelings of hurt, abandonment and despair among them. Still, others might have felt betrayed either by the Roman system or the God-Man, Himself. After all, many of His followers really thought He would free them from Roman bondage.

While hope and joy returned briefly after His resurrection, they were dashed again within forty days at His ascension to heaven. Walking away from the Mount of Olives, I could hear James say to his brother John, “That was some ride He took us on.” Surreal! Their leader had disappeared into the clouds leaving them dejected.

The book of Acts gives us a glimpse into the Ephesian elders’ goodbye to the apostle Paul. “…there was much weeping on the part of all; they embraced Paul and kissed him being sorrowful most of all because of the word he had spoken, that they would not see his face again. And they accompanied him to the ship”, Acts 20:37-38, English Standard Version (ESV).

It’s not unreasonable to think that our congregational responses will be similar to those exhibited in Jesus’ and Paul’s day. We are human of course, and not all that different. In track and field, athletes in a relay need to know the hazards to the successful exchange of a relay baton through a changeover zone. Similarly, I want to share with my fellow congregants some of the major challenges we will face in the near term during our pastoral transition. I also want to assure us all that it is only by God’s grace alone, that we will come through this sifting time spiritually intact.  

Firstly, we must accept that the transition may last for a while. My experiences with two similar situations tell me that a two-year period is not unreasonable. As some hurry to get back to “normal”, others will be clinging to the past. Balancing these two legitimate responses will take time.

Matters of the heart involving broken relationships usually require time for healing. This is why several months or even years after the break-up or breakdown of many personal relationships – marriage, friendship, parental, sibling – you still wake up and sometimes want to seek revenge for previous hurts. Your transition may not yet be over.

God has promised, however, to be with us when we walk through the “valley of the shadow of death”, Psalm 23: 4, English Standard Version (ESV) and He is “able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us…” (Ephesians 3:20, ESV) He’s in control.

The second challenge relates to the internal state of the congregation. I wish I could paint a rosy picture here. What I have to say is far from rosy. Expect people to talk about the departing minister for quite some time – affirmatively and negatively. The ‘blame game’ will continue for some time but it will end.

Additionally, there will be complaints and stiff resistance to any and all change, especially change that is perceived to be coming from “the troublemakers” or that which “couldn’t happen if Pastor were here.” So, it would be wise to limit change, especially the big ones as it will be difficult to get ‘buy in. That being said, we must avoid a never- ending stalemate or God’s work will be adversely affected. We must keep moving forward treading as carefully as we can because time is running out. Jesus is coming, soon (Revelation 22:12, ESV).

Thirdly, expect to see a falling away of members, either from the church altogether, or to seek fellowship in another congregation. This is probably the most devastating and consequential outcome. In Christ’s day, some thought His teachings were hard and unpalatable. So many turned back and no longer followed him. To stay or go is everyone’s choice. However, Jesus says “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God” Luke 9:62, ESV). So, if you have started with the work of God, resolve to go on. Make a firm commitment to keep God first in your life; spend time with God each day through prayer and Bible study, and stay active in the work of God. “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling”, Philippians 2:12 ESV.

Fourth, expect to see ongoing hostility from some coupled with selfishness and empty conceit. These works of the flesh are often expressed by building up oneself and tearing down someone else, and usually they lead to disorder and evil practices. The Bible commands us to “do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you not only look to his own interests, but also to the interests of others”, Philippians 2:3-4, ESV.   We all must question our own motives and allow God’s Holy Spirit to guide us.

The fifth challenge is about healing. This is probably one of the most critical steps of our transition because it must first start with the leaders. At our church this will be a big test. During the last supper when Jesus washed His disciples’ feet, he demonstrated the servant-leader principle (John13: 3 -10, ESV). We too must “wash one another’s feet”, literally as we have an opportunity to do so, and figuratively as well.

Later, as the disciples gathered in the upper room, they prayed together and resolved their differences. In like manner, we too must take time to talk to and with each; to understand each other, again. Some conflicts will call for a loving discussion and some need to be overlooked. However we respond to conflict, we need to be willing to forgive others just as God forgave us. Ephesians 4:31-32 says: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. This must be our goal.

Finally, as we prepare to say “hello” to our new minister, our final challenge will be to let God lead the process. We must also resist the urge to set expectations that no human can fulfill. Take a look throughout the Bible and you will see the character flaws of some of the greatest leaders in the past.

For a reality check, here are a few from the Old Testament.

Noah drank liquor and sinned.

Joseph was a bigoted dreamer who served jail time.

Moses was a murderer. It took 40 years to clean him up.

David was an adulterer who hired a hit man to murder his loyal soldier.

Wise Solomon had a harem with 700 wives and 300 concubines.

Hosea was a weird prophet whose mental stability could at best be questioned. His wife would never qualify for the title” Pastor’s Wife” today.

These failings continue into the New Testament.

Mathew was a thieving tax collector and like Luke, he exposed all the dirty secrets in Christ’s lineage. Did he really have to talk about Judah, Rahab and Manasseh?

Peter was a bad tempered disciple in Christ’s inner circle. We would never elect that foul-mouthed hypocrite to office, much less let him preach and do miracles.

Paul, he was just extra. He preached all night into daybreak pausing only to resurrect a sleeping, tired listener who had fallen three floors to his death.

You get the point. God uses flawed human beings to do His work. The good news is that he also equips them to accomplish His purposes. I believe if, with God’s help, we successfully master these challenges, we would truly have said “goodbye” to the last guy and be ready to “hello” to the “new one”.

Let the transition and changeover begin.

[1] https://www.etymonline.com/word/good-bye

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