Growing up, I frequently experienced corporal punishment. It was fairly common for parents to establish their power and authority over what they called ‘disobedient or insolent children’ with whippings to the butt, hands, or feet. I also had the misfortune of getting double doses as I was also whipped by my school teachers. I want to say at the outset that my goal is not to discuss either the legality or rightness of spanking children though I confess that many times it felt like an unjust exhibition of ego.
Permit me to draw your attention to the subject of this blog: a familiar Bible story where someone also used the whip but in a very different way. Jesus and His disciples were on their way to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. Travelling by foot, they go to the city on Monday and headed straight for the temple. As they navigated the streets in Jerusalem, they passed thousands of worshippers from Palestine and other distant lands who had gathered for this important feast.
Unlike previous visits, Jesus saw a very disturbing sight upon entering the temple. Merchants and moneychangers were exchanging foreign currency and selling animal sacrifices to worshippers (pigeons, doves, sheep, goats, and oxen), overcharging them for the two essential things that were needed to participate in worship: temple coins and an animal to sacrifice.
Jesus’ heart ached at the lack of pity and compassion of the priests who claimed to be guardians of the poor, the blind and the lame but who rendered no assistance to get them humblest of offerings to offer to the Lord. He hated the noise and commotion in the temple court that made it impossible for the worshippers to pray. He was angry at the moneychangers’ greed and desecration of his house that he took some cords and wove them together into a whip.
Then he began to knock over the tables of the moneychangers, spilling coins on the ground. No one dared stop him as he declared “My house shall be called a house of prayer but you have made it a den of robbers” (Matthew 21:13, ESV). All at once, sheep, oxen, brokers, and cattle rushed from the temple to escape Jesus’ condemnation. The regular people were impressed by Jesus who once again brought peace out of commotion but the priests and rulers began to plot to destroy him.
What lessons can we learn from this story of Jesus cleansing the temple? I have a few important ones that I would like to share with you.
Do you ever use others in order to advance your own purposes? Do you speak up when you see someone acting unjustly? Where is your whip when you see someone taking advantage of another in the workplace, at school, and even at church? Jesus took a stand and spoke up in no uncertain terms. Perhaps, we should get a whip and do the same.
God gave us the emotion of anger and he expects us to use it without sinning. Jesus was angry because people in authority were merchandising his grace and perverting the use of His Father’s house of worship but he did not sin. Does child abuse make you angry? What emotions are awakened when you hear about domestic violence, human trafficking, racism, and discrimination? Your anger can be a catalyst for getting involved in these causes that would otherwise be ignored. So, if anger is nowhere on your radar, you might want to ask yourself why not.
Soon after Jesus dealt with opportunists, he became a magnet for the disadvantaged. The Bible tells us that the blind and the lame came to him, and children acknowledged him and praised him with “Hosanna to the son of David” (Matthew 21:14, ESV). It may be that when we take a courageous stand for the right that someone will recognize and appreciate us for doing that. The world is full of downtrodden people who are looking for someone to stand up for them. Get your proverbial whip and make a difference.
Jesus clearly stated the purpose for coming to his house – prayer. Wherever God manifests His presence, the place is holy as when God descended upon Mt. Sinai and consecrated it by his presence. When we enter his house, God expects us to commune with him in prayer and to not let our actions prevent others from doing the same. There must be no merchandising – buying and selling – of stuff, including religious stuff because it defiles his house.
The Apostle Paul also reminds us that our body is the temple for the indwelling Christ, and a witness to the world. We must, therefore ensure that we put nothing in it that defiles. “If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy which temple you are” (1 Corinthians 3:17, NKJV).
Jesus’ cleansing of the temple is emblematic of the cleansing work he wants to do in our hearts. However, this work is not done with a whip. Christ stands at the door of our hearts and knocks, and if we choose to open the door, he will come in and dine with us. I did, and I encourage you to open your heart to him today. Will you?
I am sure you have heard the term” have a cutting edge” or “be at the cutting edge”. It refers to the “most modern stage of development in a particular type of work or activity” or “the most recent stage in the development of something” that usually gives an advantage.[1] So, you often hear of companies at the cutting edge of communication technology or scientific evidence; or organizations wanting employees with skills that put the company at the cutting edge of product design or innovation.
Yesterday, as I was chatting with a friend who I admire in many ways, I was reminded of this term when she shared that she feared she has lost her spiritual cutting edge. She used to care about ministry and being involved in ministry but feels as if she has lost her effectiveness and enthusiasm for doing the Lord’s work. As this can happen to any one of us, I want to share some of my thoughts on recovering your spiritual cutting edge from 2 Kings 6:1-7.
The “sons of the prophets” (today, we might refer to them as a class of theology students) were studying under the Prophet Elisha. Many young men had joined the seminary but soon they ran out of space to accommodate everyone. So, they came up with an idea to build a new dormitory. With Elisha, the trainer’s permission, and his encouraging and inspiring presence, they went down to the Jordan river to start cutting down trees, to build their new accommodations.
Like many students, the one in this passage, did not have all the resources he needed and resorted to borrowing to fulfil his lack. He borrowed an axe so he could do his part and help with the building project. Pretty soon a problem arose. One day, while cutting down a tree, his axe head flew off the handle, landed in the Jordan river and sank to the bottom. In one mighty swing, he lost his cutting edge, and the power tool that made him effective.
Ever felt like this, spiritually? I have, at least a few times, but the question is, “What should you do when you think you’ve lost your spiritual cutting edge?”
Here are a few suggestions for recovering your spiritual cutting edge:
Have you lost your spiritual edge? Take action today, and experience the miracle God as for you.
[1] https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/cutting-edge
Life can be difficult at times. This is especially true now with public health restrictions in place, young children at home, unprotected from infections, and new remote work arrangements associated with a seemingly never-ending COVID-19 pandemic.
At other times, you work hard, try your best but things still do not work out as planned. You plan, prepare, think ahead — and yet, something unforeseen comes out of nowhere creating other obstacles you need to overcome. You keep your end of a business arrangement, work or church assignment but the other party/parties intentionally do not, causing you great loss and pain.
Maybe, you are trying for a job you really want, you have gone to interview after interview, and you cannot land it; or you are dating and after multiple relationships, you just cannot find lasting love. You have lost three pounds but that is far from the 25 you are hoping to lose. You have a book you want to write, a song you want to produce, a change to make – but no deal. You feel burdened, lose heart, and hit the giant wall known as discouragement.
Discouragement literally means “without courage.” It denotes a sense of failure; an inability to make something happen. You feel nothing good will ever happen to and for you. You feel sad, heavy, stuck – even hopeless at times. I am certain that this type of discouragement burdens all of us, and is one of the greatest killers of the human spirit. However, through whatever doubt and misery you are facing, you must remain open to new possibilities and quit projecting further failures. If you do not, your live could easily become joyless, directionless.
So, how do we regain courage and heart in the face of discouragement? How do we regain a sense of hopefulness? Here are a few useful tips:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6,7, NKJV).
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).
This Monday, June 21, 2021 is the Summer Solstice. The event, which ushers in the longest day and shortest night of the summer season for those in the northern hemisphere, happens when the sun is directly over the Tropic of Cancer. At this time, the Earth is at a point where its tilt is at the greatest angle to the plane of orbit, resulting in one hemisphere receiving more sunlight and longer day than the other.
I love the Summer Solstice though I grew up in the Tropics and it is not possible to experience it there. I like that I can do more with the extra hours of daylight, and the hours of darkness are shortened.
The Bible has a wonderful story about extended daylight. In the Book of Joshua, God performed a stupendous miracle that allowed the Israelites to defeat their enemies.
“At that time Joshua spoke to the Lord in the day when the Lord gave the Amorites over to the sons of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel, “Sun, stand still at Gibeon, and moon, in the Valley of Aijalon. And the sun stood still, and the moon stopped, until the nation took vengeance on their enemies. Is this not written in the Book of Jashar? The sun stopped in the midst of heaven and did not hurry to set for about a whole day. There has been no day like it before or since, when the Lord heeded the voice of a man, for the Lord fought for Israel” (Joshua 10: 12-14, New International Version).
It’s interesting that the English word “solstice” comes from the Latin “solstitium” which means “sun standing still”. Joshua prayed, and God performed a miracle. He supernaturally caused the sun to stand still so r Joshua’s army could win its battle. While the lengthened day was indeed unlike anything ever seen, perhaps the greater miracle may have been that God listened to Joshua and answered his amazing prayer.
Very soon, something even more amazing will happen to those who become victors over the enemy of this world. Describing the New Jerusalem, the City of God, John writes:
“And the city has no need of the sun or of the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God has illumined it, and its lamp is the Lamb. The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it. In the daytime (for there will be no night there) its gates will never be closed; and they will bring the glory and the honour of the nations into it; and nothing unclean, and no one who practices abomination and lying, shall ever come into it, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life. – Revelation 21:23-27.
In heaven, there will be nothing but unending day, uninterrupted light, the purest, cleanest, most radiant light in the universe – the light that dispelled the darkness when God started His creative works in Genesis 1.I can’t wait to experience those never-ending days with lots of time to so much and more.
Until then, I am content to enjoy this longest day of the year. Perhaps, you too can take a walk after dinner, sit in the shade, or reflect on God’s kindness in designing the earth and the seasons the way they are. Happy Summer Solstice.
Maggie
According to Eric Roth, “Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.”[1] However, like many products in the supermarket, every opportunity has an expiry date. This means they are temporary or short-lived.
Like most of us, I know the pain of missed opportunities – the ones we will not get a chance at again. In 2003 when I settled permanently in Canada with my family, simultaneously I secured a placement at Dalhousie University to complete some research as part of my Sabbatical leave from the University of Guyana.
Upon completion of my Sabbatical, I had an opportunity to do a PhD in economics but could not take it up because of family circumstances. I completed the first year but my husband, a new immigrant, was having difficulty finding sustainable employment. Our ‘savings burn-rate’ was high and getting higher every day.
Wanting to stop the bleeding, I decided to find employment to help support our family. Though I was comfortable with my decision, I was overwhelmed with sadness and grief at the lost opportunity. My ‘PhD’ ship had sailed leaving waves of regret for many years.
Going to my Bible, I found a story that is relatable which helped me cope somewhat. God had given the children of Israel the opportunity to go into the land of Canaan but they had to trust Him. They chose not to do this and trusted instead ten men, ten spies who told them it was impossible to possess the land. As a result, they lost the opportunity to march right into the Promised Land, and wandered in the desert for 40 years before they received another opportunity from God.
What can we learn from these types of experiences? From the shame and embarrassment? From the damage to our self-image and self-respect that makes it harder to find the courage to seize the next opportunity? From a lack of trust and dependence on God? Looking back, I have discovered three lessons that I know for sure help ease the pain of disappointment surrounding missed opportunities. If you learn them, you too can let go of ships that have sailed.
The first step is acceptance. You need to accept that you missed your chance to do something that you may have loved; or to deepen a relationship with a special someone, and now the person has either moved or passed away. Let me be clear: This is not about blaming and dragging yourself down but about taking responsibility for the choices you have made, even if that choice results in sadness or regret.
I hasten to add that this is not as easy as it sounds and may take some time, even years to get to the place of acceptance. This was true for me but be brutally honest with yourself and do not make excuses or pretend you are better off without the opportunity or relationship. Honesty is the best policy even under difficult circumstances.
I learned that there is nothing wrong with being upset over a missed opportunity. Each experience holds valuable insights and lessons. When you experience stress associated with a regret, or feel anxious over a missed opportunity, you do not always think clearly or at times, rationally. You feel as if your whole world has come crashing down and all is lost.
It is important for you to get out of that headspace. Ask yourself, ‘What else could this mean?’ or ‘What’s great about this?’ Chances are you will be in a better place to move forward. That said do not pass up the chance to better yourself in some other way. Take out your pen and paper, and pull out the lessons from the experience, then identify how you can use them in future situations to better yourself or your relationships.
While we often say, “Never say never”, I have settled in my mind that it is unlikely that I will ever pursue a PhD in economics in the future. Getting out of that headspace has helped me explore what else lies out there for me to do and what is great about looking at other chances that have come my way. This has put me in a better place to move forward and to focus my attention on spotting the next opportunity, and not letting that one pass me by. To date, I have become an author and I am working toward certification as an international facilitator.
I have also asked myself a series of questions: Was the ideal choice apparent at the time of the event or did it only become clear with the benefit of time? If the same situation occurs in the future, how would I do things differently? Say, I jumped on that opportunity, how might it have gone sideways? For instance, I often wonder whether my marriage and family would have survived such a rigorous course of study; whether I would have exceled as I wanted to at that time; or whether I would be in debt until now. These were distinct possibilities.
3. Focus on Renewal
Everyone makes mistakes, but learning how to discover lessons from these errors can be beneficial. You must be able to reassess or reframe the pain, and focus on what you learned and how you grew. Yes, you might have messed up, but it was a learning experience that can help you make better choices in the future.
Ask yourself ‘What steps can you take to prevent the same thing from happening again in the future? Self-forgiveness can be a good first step. It is as close as we come to a system reset button. Then quit the self-loathing and move forward. Do not your missed opportunity trouble you into the future. Twenty years have passed since my missed opportunity and the pain has dulled considerably. I refused to beat myself up continuously and looked for an opportunity to move forward with God’s help.
Time is a remarkable gift from God. In Ephesians 5:15-16, the Apostle Paul cautions us all: “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…” (NIV). As God loves you so much, He does not want you to look back on your life with feelings of guilt and painful regrets. He is willing to give you another chance. So, look for the opportunity God is giving you today, and make the most of it!
[1] Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Screenplay
The theme for this year’s International Women’s Day in March was Choose to Challenge. As I pondered the words, I ask myself “Challenge what”? I answer: Challenge, inequality, poverty, bias and stereotypes; challenge exclusiveness ad discrimination; challenge racism and hate, and the list could go on and on.
As I ponder this theme, I am reminded of a story in the Gospels of Matthew and Mark that speaks to a different challenge – the challenge of women banding together to harm someone else. Their tool, conspiracy with the help of a drunken leader. Herodias, one of the Bible’s famous villains and her daughter conspire to murder John the Baptist, Jesus’ cousin.
Herodias was a Jewish princess, a clever politician, and a powerful influential woman in the early Roman empire. She married her half-uncle, Herod Philip, and shortly after her marriage, she bore a daughter. It was not long before her husband’s brother, Herod Antipas, the ruler of Galilee, fell in love with Herodias and desired to marry her.
But there was one obstacle: both of them were married. Herod Antipas who played a big part in the execution of Jesus Christ, had married the daughter of the Nabataean King Aretas IV and Herodias was married to her half uncle. To solve this problem, they both divorced their spouses and married each other.
According to the Bible, when Herodias found out that John, the Baptist opposed their marriage and deemed it unlawful, she wanted him dead. To prevent his death, her husband imprisoned John. Antipas did not want to put John, the Baptist to death because although he liked to listen to his preaching (Mark 6:20), he feared him. Furthermore, Antipas may have feared that if he killed John his followers would riot.
Herodias, on the other hand was constantly on the lookout for a way to silence John. Her opportunity came on Herod’s Antipas’ birthday. During the celebrations that were filled with debauchery and drunkenness, Herodias’ daughter danced for Antipas and it delighted him greatly. Losing control of what little inhibitions he had, Herod took an oath, in front of witnesses that he would give her whatever she wanted.
Herodias, her mother, pulling the strings of revenge in this plot saw her opportunity and instructed her to ask for the head of John the Baptist as a reward. Although he was appalled by the request, sadly, Herod Antipas agreed because he did not want to break his oath or seem weak in front of the witnesses if he denied her request. So, the imprisoned John was beheaded and his head given to the daughter who gave it to her mother on a silver platter.
Food for Thought: Four things we should challenge
What happens when your sexual interests lead you to fall in love with your own relatives? What do we do when we notice these patterns of dysfunction around us? We need to ask the Lord to give us a healthy vision and understanding of what is His idea of idea of a healthy relationship; what is right in His eye eyes compared to what we may be getting used to seeing.
Often, we do not realize that dysfunction is going on around us because we may hear that it is normal to be a particular way do a particular thing; but it takes God giving us a godly vision and perspective of wholeness and health to set us down the path of freedom. Unlike Herodias and Herod Antipas, we should try to live decent, righteous lives. When faced with it, we should acknowledge our wrong-doing and not seek endlessly to escape the consequences of our actions. Moreover, we shouldn’t stand by passively and allow wickedness to flourish around us.
Herod’s judgment was distorted by pride and drunkenness. He couldn’t bring himself to admit that he had made a mistake and was not prepared to lose face before his banquet guests. From a health standpoint, Herod got so drunk he made a ridiculous offer to a dancing girl: “Whatever you ask I will give you, up to half my kingdom” (Mark 6:3, N.I.V.), and he wasn’t a big enough man to admit to his folly and withdraw his promise.
It is always foolish to make grand gestures under the influence of alcohol. Proverbs 20:1 (N.I.V.) says, “Wine is a mocker; strong drink is raging and whoever is deceived thereby is not wise.” That means—drink too much wine or liquor, and that drink will make a fool out of you. We must avoid drunkenness and its effects on both body and mind.
Many have asked, “Where is God in this story when John’s head is cut off? Did he stop working to save us? The answer lies in the Mark’s sandwich stories. Immediately before the Herod narrative, we read of Jesus commissioning His twelve disciples to go, in pairs to take the good news of salvation to the villages. Immediately following the Herod narrative, we read of the return of the Twelve to Jesus.
So, what was God doing? The answer is: God was continuing to be at work to save mankind. By His Spirit and through those called by Jesus to proclaim and enact His kingdom, God was working so that others might be drawn to know Him. Then as now, while suffering is on full display for all to see, the Holy Spirit is at work calling men to repentance. Let’s challenge ourselves to depend upon God’s leading through His Holy Spirit, and let’s make sure we are not bypassed.
The month of February is Black History month across North America. This year the goal is to bring focus and increased awareness of racialized issues in society, and the call to us is to listen, learn, share and act to make society a better place.
Non-acceptance and devaluation of humans based on racial differences, specifically blackness, has existed since Bible times. In this blog, I reflect on one such incident from the Bible.
Sitting at a primary intersection of gender and ethnicity in chapter 12 of the book of Numbers is the figure of the Cushite woman. Meet Zipporah, the Midianite wife of one of the Bible’s most celebrated leaders – a black woman whose name means “a little bird” or “sparrow”. It was at a well that Moses met Zipporah. After killing an Egyptian in Egypt for harshly beating a Hebrew slave, he fled to the land of Midian to escape his shame.
The Midianites were a group of people, made up of different tribes – descendants of Midian (a son of Abraham and his wife Keturah), who lived in the Arabian Peninsula on the eastern side of the Gulf of Aqaba of the Red Sea. The location is considered to be part of modern-day Saudi Arabia. Some, however, also came from Nubia, and this is where Zipporah came from somewhere between Ethiopia and Sudan. Her father, Jethro (also known as Reuel) was a priest of Midian, a shepherd, and a wise man.
You would recall that it was Jethro’s recommendation that Moses select judges to help govern the people. Moses would teach the judges and they would hear the simpler cases leaving the more challenging ones for his attention.
We learn in Numbers that one day when the Israelites were at Hazeroth, Miriam and Aaron, Moses’ older siblings, blindsided him when they “spoke against Moses because of the Cushite[1] woman whom he had married, for he had married a Cushite woman” (Numbers 12:1).
The most explicit criticism is about his marriage to a black woman as the two siblings called out Zipporah’s distinct trait – her skin colour which, apart from her race, also symbolized that she was not Hebrew but a foreigner. On top of that they had the nerve to question Moses’ authority. They hinted that they deserved to be prophets on par with the unsuitably married Moses, and God “heard them”.
In response to Miriam’s criticism, God does not get angry with Moses. “His anger was kindled against them”, Miriam and Aaron. The bible says that God spoke suddenly to the three siblings, summoning them to the door of the Tabernacle where he came down in a cloud to meet them. God does not meet them inside the Tabernacle where he would customarily meet with them because, in my view, he intends to punish them and in so doing He does not want to desecrate the Tabernacle.
He then calls Aaron and Miriam forward to set the record straight. He does not tolerate them bad-mothing Moses. He tells them that Moses is nothing like them but a “servant of his household who talks to Him face to face.” God does not wait for an answer from Aaron and Miriam but departs as soon as He had given his testimony about Moses.
“When the cloud lifts from over the tent, behold, Miriam was leprous, like snow” (Numbers 12:10). Having criticized Zipporah’s dark skin, her punishment in the form of white, leprous skin was now visible for all to see – skin for skin. Moses, a type of Christ, intercedes on her behalf, asking God to have mercy on her and to heal her. It is important to note that God hears This prayer, and He answers. Miriam must, however, wait seven days outside the camp, returning only after she heals. “…The effectual fervent prayer of s righteous man avails much” (James 5:16, NKJV).
In contrast, God does not punish the weak-willed, traitorous Aaron possibly because leprosy was a symbol of sin’s spread and horrible consequences, and Aaron the High Priest symbolized Jesus, our sinless High Priest who would come to redeem sinful man. In a sense, he was punished when he saw Miriam, his sister stricken with leprosy for Numbers 12:10 says “… and Aaron looked upon Miriam, and, behold, [she was] leprous.”
There are a number of takeaways from this story.
We are living in a moment of deep suffering, arising out of a history of incalculable suffering, for black people, bi-racial people, indigenous people: the modern Zipporahs. Too many, like Miriam, think and speak with bias against others because of their race or racial connections. Too many, like Aaron, go along with it, whether through agreement, laughter, shrugging or silence. Too often, people turn these thoughts and words into damaging deeds, even lethal deeds – against George Floyd and others; against 400+ years of names.
The Bible does not let us deny the problem of racism. Black lives mattered in the time of Moses and Black lives matter now. We all must work to root it out – to speak against it; to oppose it and, most importantly, to act against it. All people are created in the image of God, and therefore all races and ethnic groups have equal status and equal value before God. The gospel demands that Christians carry compassion and the message of Christ across ethnic lines. The New Testament, in particular, teaches that as Christians we are all unified together “in Christ,” regardless of our differing ethnicities.
Moreover, our primary concept of self-identity should not be our ethnicity, but our membership as part of the body and family of Christ. The Apostle John, the author of the book of Revelation, gives us a picture of God’s people at the climax of history – a multi-ethnic congregation from every tribe, language, people, and nation, all gathered together in worship around God’s throne. I look forward to that day. What about you? By God’s grace, let’s purpose to be there – together.
[1] A Cushite is from Cush, a region south of Ethiopia, where the people are known for their black skin.
[2] Seven is the number for completion in the Bible.
How many of you, when you sit down for supper, like a nice cold drink with ice? If you are like me, ice makes my drinks taste better. Why is that? For me, it’s because the cold temperature feels just right. Even if some of you don’t, many of you might like some drinks cold better than warm, right? I mean who likes a glass of warm orange juice, or a warm ice cream cone?
Allow me to probe a bit more. Do you guys have an ice maker in your fridge at home? Ice makers are great because they’re always making new ice without us ever having to do anything. On the other hand, how many of you use ice trays? If your fridge doesn’t have an ice maker, you can use an ice tray instead. Ice trays are pretty simple. Each one has all these little pockets that you fill with water. Then you place it in the freezer, and in a few hours, you have some nice ice cubes.
While the ice maker produces ice more quickly, if you don’t have one, you have to be patient in waiting for ice that’s made in an ice tray. Especially on a hot day, you will wait for the ice cubes to freeze because they are worth it. Waiting requires patience.
What is patience? According to Wikipedia, “patience is the ability to endure difficult circumstances” or to wait for something that you want right now. It is a gentle, long-suffering attitude. “Patience may involve perseverance in the face of delay; tolerance of provocation without responding in disrespect/anger; or forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties.”[1]
Many things in life require patience. Sometimes it’s hard to wait for the end of the school day, isn’t it? Or maybe we can’t wait for the weekend. Some of us may find it hard waiting for our favorite sports season, or phone call about a job. How about growing up? How many of you could not wait to be old enough to drive but now wish you did not have to drive? How many cannot wait for this pandemic to be over and wish we knew when that would happen?
The Bible teaches us that we need to learn patience. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12, NIV). It also tells us that ‘The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” (2 Peter 3:9, NIV).
God is patiently working to save each person. He has endless patience because He wants you and me to be saved from sin. God’s patience is like a stretched rubber band. We do wrong, over, and over and over again like the constant stretching of this rubber band but God doesn’t snap. Even when we stretch his compassion like this rubber band that is stretched to its full limit, he remains patient with us. God really is longsuffering. That means he has better and more patience than anyone else. Aren’t you glad? I know I am!
But how are we when God allows circumstances that stretch our faith? We don’t like this, as our inclination is to keep things safe and comfortable. Whatever God wants to do in your life, requires stretching. Stretching is uncomfortable but through that process, God will take us to places where we can’t go by our ability, where our money isn’t enough, and where our intelligence hits its ceiling, so He gets the glory. Too often we’re in control of too many things and because of this we block God from doing what He can and needs to do.
So, the next time you feel impatient, remember the ice tray, and remember the rubber band. Let’s be patient throughout this pandemic. God is in charge and this too shall pass. Our faith will also be stretched also but God will see us through. “But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded” (2. Chronicles 15:7, NIV). Remember, good things come to those who wait or can wait.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patience
During this COVID-19 pandemic, almost every conversation I have with someone who does not live in my home kicks off with a brief but polite consideration of sickness and mortality. “Hi!” I say. “Hi Maggie!” the other person says back. “How are you?” I ask next, out of habit.
How are we? People are sick and dying in frightening numbers all around us. I hope that we are all thankful not to be sick or dying, but any of us could be soon. Are we really going to mask these grim truths with the usual pleasantry “I’m good, you?”
The coronavirus pandemic has laid bare the extent to which “How are you?” is not an honest inquiry in search of an honest answer, or any clear intention to understand what’s going on in someone else’s life and to care. Now more than ever, it is important for us to ask a different question – one of genuine concern and interest for our friends and loved ones who are ‘falling off the wagon’; or acting cruel for no obvious reason; or being sad because life hurts to the core.
The question I suggest you ask is ‘Are you okay?’ or ‘Are you all right?’ It’s a better one.
The Bible, in 2 Kings 4:18-37, has a story that speaks to the importance of asking this question. In this passage of scripture, we meet a godly and well-off Shunammite woman who was childless for many years. Through her kindness to Elisha, the prophet, and his response to her kindness, God gave her a son. The child grew up and one morning while in the field with his dad, he fell ill and died by noon that day.
In her grief, the woman saddled a donkey, and with her servant, rode to Mount Carmel to find Elisha. When Elisha saw her coming in the distance, he said to his servant Gehazi, “Look! There’s the Shunammite! Run to meet her and ask her, ‘Are you all right? Is your husband all right? Is your child all right?” (2 Kings 4:26) New International Version).
Like so many of us, the woman told Gehazi “Everything is all right”. It was not until she met Elisha himself, that she fell at his feet to unburden herself and tell him about her son’s death. After all, he was instrumental in her having this son. He must care, and he did. Elisha returned with her to her home and because of her faith and persistence, she got the help she needed. God, through Elisha, performed a miracle and resurrected her son. All of this happened because Elisha asked ‘Are you alright? Are you okay?’
How many times have you pretended to be okay when you are crumbling inside? How many times have you poured out your heart to someone only to realize that the person simply wanted a ‘How are you?’ answer? How many times have you been offended when someone asked ‘Are you okay?’
Who is asking? Is the person to whom you are close? Someone you believe truly cares about you or a casual acquaintance that seems to be asking the question as automatically as one offers “bless you” after a sneeze. If you are unsure this person can be trusted with your intimate secrets and/or you just feel uneasy or awkward, ask yourself, “Do I wish to discuss my situation or my emotions with this person?”
If the answer is ‘no’, do not feel obliged to offer more than a casual response. You can simply say, “I’m hanging in there. Thanks for asking. How are you doing?”
If the person persists, you can say “Thanks for your concern but I’d really appreciate it if you respect my privacy. Have a nice day!”
If the questioner is someone you know is truly concerned about your welfare, and he or she is someone you trust and want to talk to, you can be more open. You can say, “Actually, life’s been a really hard. Would you be available to chat about it with me?”
For some people, talking about their inner turmoil, even with a trusted person, is painful for a variety of reasons. You can reopen wounds, prolong anger and grief, or be disgusted at yourself afterward for sharing your deepest feelings and thoughts. Some feel as if they start talking, it will be hard to stop.
As you consider your feelings, know that most people who are asking about your wellbeing are likely doing so out of concern – likely family, close friends, mental health practitioners, and pastor. Remember, these people are often your main support system and the best solution is to find the right balance about who, what, and how much you want to disclose.
Sometime you confide in someone about a problem or challenge once, and the person thinks it is okay to make enquiries constantly. Here is where you have to set boundaries. You can say in a kind but firm way “Thanks for asking again. However, I do not want every conversation or encounter we have to involve a discussion about my struggle. It is nice to know that if there was something I needed or wanted you would be there.”
We live in extraordinary times. Offering a hug or a handshake is no longer a polite way to greet someone. Keeping your distance from a friend you see at the grocery store, and crossing the street when you encounter another person on the sidewalk are now among the most considerate things you can do. These are good practices, but as brothers and sisters in Christ, we need to go further. We need to be our brothers and sisters’ keepers.
So, when you start your conversations, do not be afraid to ask ‘Are you okay?’ Perhaps, this is one of the kindest gestures you can extend to others in a time like this to make clear that they do not have to pretend they are fine. If someone asks if you are okay, please stop saying you are fine when you are not. Look for the right person, not a Gehazi but your Elisha, and seek the help God has already provided for you.
Go on. Ask someone today ‘Are okay?’, and by God’s grace, please be okay when you say ‘yes’.
“Then the children of Israel journeyed from Rameses to Succoth, about six hundred thousand men on foot, besides children. A mixed multitude went up with them also, and flocks and herds — a great deal of livestock” (Exodus 12:38, New King James Version).
When Moses led the Israelites out of their Egyptian bondage, certain non-Israelites joined the group. The Old Testament refers to these Gentiles as the mixed multitude. The mixed multitude, mentioned again in Numbers 11:4, is there described as the instigators who caused the Israelites to complain about the manna that God was providing as food. In complaining about the manna, the Israelites voiced their longing for the foods they had enjoyed in Egypt, foods such as fish, cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic.
Since we are in the eighth month since the coronavirus arrived in my home province, it seems like a great idea to talk about complaining! We all know that it is very easy to do! Right? We complain about wearing masks, physical distancing, the weather, the temperature, the house being a mess, too much to do, money, work, traffic, etc.
Does this list seem familiar to you? Unfortunately, I complain about these things too. Actually, as I write this blog, I have to check myself because I just had the urge to complain about not finding my notepad where I left it. The struggle is real!
This month, I will be sharing with you some of the powerful negative effects complaining can have on you and others, and what we can do about it. I want to help you and myself become aware of our thoughts, to shift our mindset, to learn to live with gratitude, and to invite positivity and happiness into our lives.
Negative Effects of Complaining
Complaining can be annoying especially to the person who is listening to the complaints. It becomes even more frustrating when the complainer seems unwilling to do anything to resolve the issues about which they’re complaining, and rejects help and advice about how to solve the problem.
Just ask Miriam and Aaron when they complained about Moses’ leadership, and forgot that they too should have been modelling good leadership. At that point in time, their vision was also badly skewed. They lost sight of what God was using them to do.
This is especially true if you complain about things that have not yet happened. Complaining, for example about hat your husband might say about a leaky faucet or a nail in the tire of his car that you borrowed does do you any good. He just might be quiet and disappoint you.
WOW! This is a long list of negatives and there may be more of them that I did not capture.
How can you and I do that?
Let us talk about some things we can do to STOP COMPLAINING. After that, I will invite you to join me as we take a one-week ‘No Complaining Challenge’🙂
Think about the thing or issue about which you are complaining before speaking. Is the thing valid? Do you have control over it? How else can we express our feelings? Do you need to say anything at all? Will it help to complain about it or does it bring negativity to those around you? I you said no to any of these questions, don’t speak. My husband has the right attitude about this. He does not worry about anything he cannot fix at the very moment. If it must wait until tomorrow, he will deal with it then.
Sometimes a lot of our complaining is directed toward the actions of others—someone taking out their grocery too slowly at the supermarket checkout, especially self checkout, a friend showing up late for a ‘hangout’, or someone chewy so loudly you could hear them. Instead of focusing on what others are doing, pay attention to what you are doing. Maybe you need to slow down in Atlantic Superstore or Sobeys because you don’t need to be in that much of a hurry to get to the register or self checkout. You can also spend some time reflecting and drinking some water as you await your friend who is running a bit late for lunch.
If I want to complain about dirty dishes in the sink or stuff being left out of place, which sometimes I do, I stop, and say, “Let me do the dishes”, or “It’s just a house with a few things out of place, not a national disaster. You are tired, rest a bit and then you will have enough energy to take care of it.” The funny thing is that as soon as I put things into perspective, I begin to feel better about the situation and being able to take care of it. Wow. It’s that simple.
Complaining about something only draws more attention to it. Being grateful for something focuses the mind on all the good things that you truly have. When my friend cancelled our ‘girls-night-out’, I stopped to think how grateful I was to get an early night’s rest in a long time. If you write down five things you are grateful for – start small – you will find more and more things for which to be grateful! This zaps away complaining and negativity.
“Birds of a feather flock together”. So, the less you are around complainers, the less you will complain! Follow this advice: “You are the company you keep. So, choose your company wisely. 🙂
When I feel out of sorts and unhappy, I go for a walk or run! Being outdoors in nature, by myself, helps to clear my mind. Sometimes, I even talk to God about my dreams and plans. This allows me to focus on other things and to change my mood. I don’t want to spread my bad mood to anyone else!
I have not tried to consistently write in a journal myself because I do not like to write down my most intimate thoughts. I shudder at the thought of someone else reading about my thoughts. However, I know that writing can be therapeutic so I write my monthly blog and gather content for my next book. This activity not only clears your mind and can bring perspective about challenges you are facing. If you are consistently journal, you can also measure personal growth in several areas over time.
Several psychologists and therapists have talked about the importance of laughter! A good belly full of laughter works wonders. When you feel the urge to complain coming on, tune into a good comedy show or movie, look at yesteryear fashion from old pictures, and laugh your head off. Laughter is still the best medicine. 🙂
Living in a world with so much suffering, it is sobering to stop and think about those who have less than what you have in life, especially when you are tempted to make a mole-sized irritation into a mountain. I once read a story where someone was complaining about having only one banana. After peeling it, he threw away the skin and started to eat it. Soon he noticed that someone had picked up the skin and was ‘wolfing it down’. This realization that there are others worse off that you puts things into perspective for me. I must be truly grateful for every blessing I have from God because there are others who are worse off than me.
Now that you have learned about these very important and sobering lessons. It’s time for us to embark on our 5-DAY workweek ‘NO COMPLAINING’ CHALLENGE! I challenge YOU and MYSELF to make the change. It’s never too late to do so. Invite your family and friends, church brethren, and co-workers. It is time to make a change. We can do this together. READY. SET. GO.
[1] https://www.risingrootsnj.com/