“The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.” – Unknown

Spring is in the air and I am eagerly looking forward to warmer days and the rebirth of plants and animals. Farmers and gardeners are getting ready to prepare their fields and gardens. Soon they will take tiny seeds and place them into the ground so they can grow into big, productive plants.

This year, I’m going to do something that I’ve never done before in Halifax – plant a vegetable garden. Deviating from my favourite saying “go big or go home”, I’ve only reserved half a plot.  Apart from starting small, this is a sensible choice for me. I don’t want to get overwhelmed with the work of pulling weeds and watering many crops. Nor do I want the additional burden of deciding what to do with the extras if there is a bumper crop of something.  I just want to achieve my goal to have a successful garden.

As I think about my vegetable-gardening plan, I realize that one of the first essentials is to get the best seeds and/or seedlings of the types of plants I want to grow. If you think about it, many things in life start as seed — a relationship, a marriage, a business, a church. Nothing happens until the seed is planted or sown.

This makes me think about the parable about the mustard seed that Jesus told in the Book of Matthew. He said “the kingdom of heaven is like a grain of mustard seed which a man took and cast into His garden; and it grew and waxed a great tree; and the fowls of the air lodged in the branches of it (Matthew 13:31).” Though the mustard seed is tiny, it can produce a 15-foot tree.  The size of the full-grown tree denotes the strength, power, and potential inherent in a small thing.

In Jesus’ day, many expected the Messiah to come and champion their cause – to free them from Roman bondage, to reestablish a mighty kingdom and rule as Lord and King.  They never believed, the kingdom of God could get started in a small obscure way – a baby born in a manger in Bethlehem; a child growing up in the Town of Nazareth; a virtually homeless, young itinerant preacher touting a strange message about His father being God and His eternal kingdom. Jesus, however, inserted a different concept of greatness arising out of something small.

To relax on Sunday evenings, I like to look at the show “Little Big Shots” hosted by Steve Harvey and produced by Ellen DeGeneres. Little talented children cheekily exhibit all the extraordinary skills that they have. The show that aired this past Sunday featured a six-year old author who boasted about her most recent book and how she did all of the illustrations.  Exuding an air full of self-assurance, she outlined her plans to become a millionaire by age nine. She was sowing her seeds and preparing to reap the fruit of her hard labour later on.

As I reflect on what the six-year-old girl said, I wondered about my own life goals and achievements. We all have the potential to do something spectacular if we believe in ourselves but no one can achieve anyone else’s personal goals. We must set our own goals and work to achieve them. Moreover, we need to believe that we can achieve those goals. Philippians 4:13 (New International Version) says “I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength (New International Version).” What a promise from the One who created us and loves us.

Do you think you are inferior or too small to make a difference? If so, think about this African Proverb: “If you think you are too small to make a difference, you haven’t spent the night with a mosquito.” If you’ve spent a night with a mosquito you would know it’s not the size of the mosquito that determines the damage it will do, but the amount of determination it has to do the damage. With this in mind, I am ready to bite like a mosquito and to start planting. Of course, I will let you know about the harvest…later.

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Most weeks, I teach the teen class in my church. I try my best to make things interesting and interactive. At times, they are chatty, ‘with it’ and engaged; at other times they are silent, distracted and disconnected giving the clear impression that they’d rather be elsewhere. These variable responses have caused me to wonder about moodiness in teenagers.

I’ve also pondered whether the challenge lies with me not being able to connect with them consistently. What if they are having difficulty connecting with adults like me?

If you have teens in your own family or in your life, how are you going to connect with them?
Here are a few tips I’ve picked up over time that could be helpful to you.

1. Make eye contact, greet them genuinely when you see them, and be pleasant to be around. Many teenagers have a strong desire to be noticed, acknowledged, and accepted. Make them feel valued.

2. Be interested in their lives but be confidential. If they trust you to share intimate details about their lives, resist the urge to share it with another adult they know or their parent(s), especially if they asked you not to do so. I know this can be challenging, especially if there could be some imminent danger but that’s your opportunity to exert some positive influence on the teen who is confiding in you.

3. Respect their privacy. Don’t tread where you are not wanted or into areas of their lives where it’s improper to do so. Many teens dislike their physical looks and can have unrealistic body expectations when they don’t measure up to some skinny magazine model. Some do not want to talk about their digital lives and habits, the apps they use and the games they play, pop culture, and politics.

4. Have clear, enforceable rules but be flexible if it’s the common-sense thing to do. The worst thing you can do is to act unreasonably. Allowing your teen an extra half an hour after curfew to finish seeing a movie doesn’t mean you’re a pushover. Lead by precept and example.

5. Be a dependable shoulder to lean on. The world is a pretty scary place for teens. You have navigated it before and could help them. Help them trust you by not making promises you know you would be difficult to keep. You’re human so, you’re not always right. Acknowledge those times.

6. Do not gossip with your teens or say negative things about someone they respect or should respect. Your score on their ‘respect meter’ will go down – way down.

7. Do not expect someone else’s teenage son or daughter to exhibit the same behaviours as yours. S/he isn’t your child, you haven’t been able to shape their childhood, and their genetic makeup is different, plain and simple.

8. Don’t be hypocritical. Be genuine. Teens like parents, teachers, religious leaders and community leaders who consistently exhibit good morals and values. They have little tolerance for adult hypocrisy, and some do learn from and mimic you. So, beware!

9. Welcome them into your home and treat your son(s)’s female friend(s) with the same dignity and respect that you would your own daughter and encourage your son(s) to do the same.

10. Raise your teenage son to be the kind of husband you would like your own daughter to have as a husband – the best. Teach them about the value of women and girls as seen through the eyes of our Creator God. In the Garden of Eden, He took a rib from the side of the man and formed woman, indicating that she was his equal and she should stand side by side with him.

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