According to the Collins English Dictionary, “if you mend something that is broken or not working, you repair it, so that it works properly or can be used.”[1]
In Galatians 6: 1, the apostle Paul references this meaning of the word “mend. He writes “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in the spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.” I’m told, the word translated from the Greek as “restore” was also used for mending a net.
While previous generations of men and women learned to mend as a domestic necessity, for most people today, mending is a distant choice. In practice, many millennials, gen Xers and even some boomers know very little now about mending and in today’s throwaway society, there isn’t much reason to mend a torn sock or pants or handbag. Socks are relatively cheap; pants are still affordably priced; and handbags, well, very few people think about mending those.
That being said, there are several benefits to mending torn things.
Mending repairs what is torn and the result of a good mend is an unnoticeable fix to what we already have.
Mending re-positions and re-orients those who take up the habit, helping them to solve problems that usually happen on our way out the door or after machine washing a load of clothes.
Mending reflects environmental stewardship. The recent rush to follow Marie Kondo and declutter our closets allows us to cast out disposable stuff like clothing from our homes to a landfill site. Mending, on the other hand, requires us to choose to fix what we have without casting out one set of disposables and buying another.
Mending, however, takes a lot of time just like God’s mending of a spiritual life also takes time, a lifetime.
Casting and Mending
In Mark chapter 1, Jesus encounters two different pairs of brothers who were fishermen. While walking along the shores of the Sea of Galilee, he first passes by Simon Peter and Andrew who in verse 16 were “casting a net into the sea.” As the Saviour walked further along, he sees James and John, two other brothers who were “mending their nets” (Verse 19).
Although, the four were all fishermen, they were not all occupied in the same activity of their profession. One set was casting; the other, mending. You may ask, which is more important – casting or mending? I say both are equally important.
In this blog, I’ve teased out a few important lessons about why this is so.
1. Casting is a necessity for the Christian.
In Luke Chapter 5, after Peter (with his partners James and John) reluctantly let down or cast their nets into the water, “they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break” (Verse 6).
In the first century, nets were used for fishing. If they became broken, the fishermen could not fish. Whenever a fisherman came back from fishing, he would examine his nets to ensure there were no torn or broken places. If he found any, he would mend them; to make them as good as new.
God wants to do the same with members of His household of faith. As broken vessels, God is continually examining us carefully to find our weak spots, and to restore and purify us. He wants to heal hearts, a lengthy but necessary process, if we are to attain holiness and the character of Christ.
Moreover, like fishermen who throw their nets out to fish for cod, snapper and salmon, God wants his servants to be fishers of men. If as Christians, we encounter men and women are broken spiritually, God wants us to cast our ‘gospel’ nets into the water to rescue them.
We should keep in mind, however, that nets do not become worn by lying at the bottom of a fishing boat. They must be used. They are torn when they are cast, and when they are cast productively. This suggests that the nets that James and John were mending must have been a testimony of more successful and productive fishing times.
2. Casting is a requirement for mending and vice versa.
Although a fisherman/woman may not be catching fish while s/he is mending, without a mended net one cannot venture out to catch fish. It’s the same for ministry. There are times when we may feel that things are going very well with us and other times when there is a struggle. We must allow God to mend us so we can be whole as we serve others.
Likewise, as we cast our nets, we must also realize that not everyone we witness to will accept the truth about the gospel; not all those who accept salvation will grow and bear fruit; and there will be times when we won’t grasp the biblical truths that are hidden in God’s word. When we feel wounded, God will be there to mend us so we can go on fishing.
3. We must not give up during mending time.
I’m glad, James and John were mending their nets rather than abandoning them or looking for a place to dispose of them. Mending meant they were planning to fish again and not to give up altogether. They could have looked at their competitors Simon and Andrew and could have become discouraged by the fact that they were casting, but they didn’t. They knew mending was a necessary part of net restoration and, once completed, they would fish again.
Similarly, rather than giving up, we must embrace the times of mending. Many Christians often forget past successes during times of difficulty but no matter where we are, we should always remember to look back to those times when we thought things were better. we must thank God for every past victory rather than be discouraged by the need to stop and mend others, or to be mended ourselves.
4. Whether casting or mending, we must respond to the call of Jesus.
As Simon Peter and Andrew were casting their nets, Jesus bids them “Come, follow me” and immediately, “they left their nets and followed him” (Mark 1: 17, 18). Similarly, when he interrupts James and John, the Bible says “… they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him” (verse 20). Regardless of whether they were casting or mending, Jesus called all four men because he loved them, and they followed him immediately.
It must be the same for us. Jesus loves casters and menders equally. We live in a success-driven society and it’s natural for us to become fixated on our failures, seeing them as obstacles. But whether we are facing difficulties or experiencing victory, we must heed the call of Jesus. We must turn our attention from our nets and focus on the Saviour. He wants us to be with him; to walk with him; and to tell others about him. So, in the big picture, it doesn’t matter whether we are casting or mending as long as we are willing to say “yes’ to Jesus.
I trust that as casters we are also “on the mend.” I know I want Jesus to fix me. I hope and trust you want the same too.
[1] https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/mend
A few evenings ago, my husband excitedly invited me to take a look at the moon. I am always fascinated to look up into the sky and to observe the stars and constellations, and of course, the moon. I went outside and what I saw was a lovely, bright full moon.
As I gazed up at the lighted disc, I wondered what it must have felt like to the Apollo 11 crew (Neil Armstrong and Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin) to walk on the moon’s surface not knowing whether it could hold their weight.
I must confess, it gave me such joy to look at what always appears to be the outline of a face in the moon, and my one regret is that I did not take a picture of it. Going back into the house, I felt uplifted by the experience; happier and with a little more swagger in my step.
This experience has given rise to this month’s blog post.
With so much negativity and competition out there in the world why not uplift one another a bit.
Here are a few easy ways.
- Get out into nature.
Take a walk outside, especially during daylight hours. Natural light can boost our mood, and other studies show that taking walks and being in nature can reduce depression and anxiety. At night, look up into the heavens. Try to identify the planets and constellations of stars. Allow yourself to be wowed by celestial beauty, and give thanks.
- Smile broadly
What I failed to include when describing my wonder at the moon was how much it made me smile. I love to take a walk at lunch time to clear my head and to get some exercise. I can’t tell you how many people I pass who just stare. Even when I make eye contact and smile, sometimes many have a grim, gruff look. Now, I don’t expect everyone I pass on my walk to smile, but there’s nothing like a smile to say “I saw you, I acknowledge you, and I’m not going to ignore you.”
- Show kindness
Be kind to your spouse, your family members, friends and coworkers. Little things like holding a door or elevator open for someone can make a big difference to them. Give genuine attention and genuine compliments, and I emphasize the word genuine. Don’t just say something to hear yourself or to break an awkward silence. If you like someone’s shoes, handbag, or hairstyle, say so and mean it. People tend to be self-critical so remind them of their strengths, talents, and positive attributes. It will help uplift them. You never know, you may be giving them a word of encourage or appreciation at the lowest point in their day when they really need it.
- Write or Send a Note or Text Message
Whichever method you choose depends on the type of person you are interacting with and how well you know them. For some time now, I’ve made it my practice to send someone a text message or email not if I thought about them during that day. I also try to send messages to friends and loved ones on important dates such as International Women’s Day, Mother’s day, Father’s Day, birthdays, Thanksgiving , Christmas, and the like. It doesn’t have to be long and sentimental but taking the time to write a note or email, make a telephone call, or send a card can show how much we care about someone.
5: Offer To Help Someone
Check in on the vulnerable: old and young. If you know someone is sick or going through a rough time, figure out a way (big or small) to help. You could send a gift card for a meal or snack; take along a bouquet of flowers on a quick house visit; or make up package with some goodies you baked. Little gestures of kindness do wonders for a person’s self-worth, and at times, their sanity. Trust me, there’s also a bonus! You will feel incredible in return.
- Be Present in the Moment
Research shows that positive social relationships with others can help us feel better. However, many people actually feel quite lonely during social interactions. Keep this in mind and when you are in the company of your friends or loved ones, put away your phone, your computer, and your work assignment, and be there for them. Listen to them and support them without judging, and don’t offer suggestions unless they ask. In this way, you can help that person feel connected and supported.
- Invite someone to join in supporting a cause or helping someone else
This may seem counter-intuitive but when we help others, we automatically feel better ourselves. By asking a struggling friend or loved one to join you, you are giving them the opportunity to engage in an act of service that research shows will improve their happiness.
Ask someone to point out some of the positive things that are happening to them. If they are having trouble at work, with their spouse or their children, ask them if there are other things for which they are grateful. Gently guiding a friend toward the things that are going right can help broaden their perspective and give them solace.
So, go ahead. Uplift. Elevate. Inspire. Offer hope and encouragement. Someone needs it today.
I don’t know about you, but I am ready for a break from bad news. Bernie Madoff made off with millions of dollars of other people’s money, senseless killings are an everyday occurrence, many are losing their livelihoods and homes, and stress and tension are everywhere.
No matter how strong or powerful or confident we are, we all face tough times as we live in this world. One day we feel invincible and mighty; the next, deflated, lost and scared. If you haven’t already, you may realize that the hardest part of tough times is to hold on to hope.
I’ve been thinking a lot about hope recently and especially about how so many brilliant and successful people like Robin Williams and Kate Spade lose it and take their own lives. Why is it that amidst vicious challenges that threaten to squeeze me to a breaking point, I too haven’t given up? Simply put, it’s because I’ve been able to hold on to hope.
What is Hope?
Hope, in my opinion, is one of the most powerful and positive mindsets we can have. In everyday usage, hope is often described as a form of wishful thinking that’s differentiated from certainty. Someone says, for instance “I don’t know what’s going to happen but I hope so and so happens.”
That’s absolutely not what hope means to me. My hope, Christian hope, is trusting in a certain outcome or possibility: a confident expectation. Simply put, it says God has promised something and you can confidently place your trust in what He says because he has said it. It’s all about waiting patiently, ardently and with certainty for God’s promises to be fulfilled. Wow!
How does hope affect us?
As I look around the world today, it seems that many of the issues we buckle under in society are the result of a lack of hope. Think about it. People live for the here and now. They value earthly or material things such as power, prestige and possessions. Although they live in comfort, they lead miserable, bitter lives that lack joy and peace. They run from trials, often blaming others for their own failures. To avoid this, our hope must be secure in God.
Hope affects us on different levels: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Hope has been shown to boost your immune system reducing stress and anxiety so every day you wake up feeling positive. Those who lack hope often fall into rhythms of negative thinking and are full of resentment, pessimism and can even suffer from depression. Hope is also essential for creating self-worth, improving social relationships, motivating positive action, and broadening and building your mind, and looking forward to eternity.
How to build hope?
Our Christian faith is based on hope in Jesus. In fact, one of the key goals of Scripture is to develop and increase our hope. In 1834, Edward Mote summarized the Christian hope in his now famous hymn:
My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus name. On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand.
In addition, the Bible says: “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17). This implies that hope, like faith is strengthened by the word of God. Hope comes from reading God precious and great promises and trusting in them. Additionally, “…
Additionally, “…everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope” (Romans 15:4, NIV).
In verse 13 of Romans 15, the Apostle Paul reminds us that God is the source of hope and He wants your hope to greatly abound or increase. He says “I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”
The Apostle Peter also tells us that our hope is a living hope. He says “May the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ be blessed! On account of his vast mercy, he has given us new birth. You have been born anew into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead (1 Peter 1:3, CEB).
The essence of what we look to in the Bible is to build our hope. So, let’s look away from the circumstances that confront us and look to Jesus and His promises and hold fast to them. Personally, there are three essential promises to which I hold, and by God’s grace, I never want to let go of them. I encourage you to do the same.
First, I have the hope of eternal life. Titus 1:2 says the “hope of eternal life which God who does not lie promised before the beginning of time.” Know that only in Christianity is there such a promise of a glorious life beyond the grave.
Then, there is the hope of a glorious church. Jesus promises to purify the church “that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing…” When we look at the church today, full of imperfect people, this hope might appear to be a stretch. However, know that God will complete the work he started in his people so that His church “should be holy and without blemish.”
But arguably, the most pivotal of all hope is the blessed hope of the glorious appearing of Jesus Christ at His second coming. This year, on July 20, it will be 50 years since human beings set foot on the moon. In the now famous words of Neil Armstrong “it was one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” Man had successfully broken out of the bounds of earth’s atmosphere.
I admit, I’ve felt jealous of Neil Armstrong but only until I pondered more deeply the blessed hope and my trip to heaven. You see, when Jesus comes, I will hear that trumpet blast which beckons the dead saints to rise. Then, we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet Jesus in the air.
With my glorified body, I will glide past the moon (later for you Neil Armstrong) and the galaxies to the place Jesus has prepared for us. What a glorious blessed hope! Let us keep it alive. Let’s pass it on to the next generation. Most importantly, Let us never lose it or lose sight of it because he who promised is faithful.
While trust is something that lies at the foundation of every relationship, it’s something with which I struggle. One reason that comes to mind is not always having a clear understanding of the nature of trust. I balk at times when someone I hardly know says: “trust me’. This may have happened to you too.
What does it really mean to trust someone?
I think about trust as a choice: I am choosing to be vulnerable and open as I relate to someone else because that person is full of integrity and has proven to be consistently honest, dependable and reliable. As such, I trust in God on one level, and my husband on another.
My views about trust also point to several key elements:
- Trust is not about putting blind faith in someone or having a good ‘gut feeling’ about them. Trust is merit-based and should be earned.
- Trust is different from love and forgiveness which are freely given. I don’t have to trust someone in order to love or forgive them, but love and forgiveness are vital in order to grow and build trust, especially if trust was broken.
- Trust calls for a belief that someone has your best interests at heart; that the person to be trusted is able and willing to do what s/he says. It’s hard to trust a good-for-nothing or to depend on someone who beats around the bush.
Recently, while surfing the Internet, I came across Robert Whipple’s article titled “3 Tricky Questions About Trust”[1] in which he invites everyone to answer the three questions he posed. In this blog, I would like to consider and answer those three tantalizing questions for myself. I encourage you to do the same even as you contemplate my responses.
Here are the three questions along with my answers.
- What is the relationship between trust and vulnerability?
Trust involves vulnerability, defenselessness or exposure. When I trust another person, I am literally exposing myself to not only hurt and disappointment but also to joy, kindness, and most of all, reciprocal trust. This is a risk we must be willing to take in order to trust.
As a follower of Christ, I am called to “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3: 5, NIV). This is a call to submit myself to God’s leading, to experience not only the joy that comes with obedience but to also be patient and wait on Him (his timing) to meet all my needs. This can be very challenging for fallible human beings dealing with an infallible God who knows us better than we know ourselves. To make ourselves vulnerable, susceptible and defenseless, demonstrating total confidence in Him is not natural but this what we are called to do.
What about person to person relationships with other fallible human beings? I believe vulnerability is also critical to healthy person to person relationships but I struggle with whether it is mandatory like it is for our relationship with God. You see, NOT trusting someone does not mean anything ‘bad’ and is certainly not a judgment against the other person. Not trusting someone that you don’t know well enough to decide whether to trust or not, is healthy. When I am expected or required to trust someone blindly, I consider that a red flag about the person who has this expectation of me. In fact, that person may be trying to act like God, and there is only one God.
In marriages and other close relationships, however, NOT trusting isn’t an option. We must be willing to take some risk that we will be safe and secure with our partner. We must be willing to trust if the relationship is to grow and develop over time. It takes courage and commitment to make a sacred, lifelong, marital commitment – to put your heart on the line (or money on the line if it’s a business relationship). Without this, we won’t be able to strengthen and grow our marriages.
- Can you trust someone you fear?
While the word ‘trust’ inspires confidence, dependence and reliance, the word ‘fear’ engenders terror, dread, and horror. Trust and fear, therefore, seem like opposites. That being said, my answer to the question above is ‘yes’ and ‘no’. I have been in situations where I trusted someone that I was afraid of and others when I did not trust the person I feared.
For instance, I’ve had bosses at work that I feared because of their positional power, and at times, I was afraid of my own mother because of what she could do to me when I disobeyed. Nonetheless, I trusted them to do what was best for me –to give an honest recommendation or the proper training in the case of my bosses, and to feed, clothe and protect me in the case of my mother.
On the other hand, I’ve been in situations where a person in authority lied about and mischaracterized my actions; spoke disparagingly about me, and blamed me for things that went wrong. I couldn’t and didn’t trust at those times. I feared the person’s destructive tactics and never sought to get close to them.
I think many are also programmed into believing they have to trust immediately. It starts when a little child meets a new relative and, as the crying child latches on to the parent’s side, s/he insists that the child allow the stranger to kiss and hug them. I don’t believe this is healthy. No one should be forced to hug and kiss strangers because someone else says so. For me, I’ve learned to trust when I feel that a person is ‘trustworthy’ not because they have a degree or title or are in a position of power.
My relationship with God, however, is a different matter. The Bible tells us that “there is no fear in love. But perfect loves drives out fear…” (1 John 4:8, NIV). Fear and trust cannot exist in our relationship with God for one will dispel the other. God does not want us to be fearful of Him. He wants us to trust Him.
The key to overcoming fear is total and complete trust in God. Trusting God is how Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego faced the fiery furnace without fear (Daniel Chapter 3). Trusting God is how Stephen stood fearlessly before his persecutors (Acts Chapter 7). To trust God is to refuse to give in to fear; to know that He will make things right even in the dark times. This trust comes from knowing God and knowing that He is good. Once we have learned to trust God, we will no longer be afraid of the things that come against us.
- Can you respect someone you don’t trust; and can you trust someone you don’t respect?
The word respect means to show admiration for someone, or to look up to someone. Sometimes, respect is the basis for trusting so0meone and sometimes, it isn’t. For instance, I may respect and trust my favourite Math teacher because s/he taught me throughout High School. S/he was knowledgeable and helped me to achieve my educational goals.
I may also respect people for their moral standards or achievements. I respect Queen Elizabeth for her morality and Barack Obama for his achievements but I’ve never met them and have no basis on which to trust them.
It’s also possible to respect people based on their reputation but personally not be able to trust them, at least not yet. Once my Church got a new and respected Pastor. I did not trust him immediately. I wanted to wait and see if my respect for him will lead to trust over time based on his actions over time.
I find, however, that if I lose respect for someone due to personal disappointment or due to some moral failing, then my trust in them is also eroded. I remember how disappointed I was to hear that one of my favourite Pastors had misappropriated funds from the Church treasury. I lost respect for him and with it some trust. I had the same feeling towards my friend’s husband when I learned he was charged for domestic abuse. For me, trust and respect go hand and respect is a foundation for trust.
In the end, the biggest question for me is: do I trust and respect myself? I believe the highest form of trust is self-trust. Self-respect is about knowing your worth and having the ability to adjust your life and remove people from it if they are treating you poorly. I must be willing to trust myself to make the right decisions and to respect myself, even if no one else chooses to do so. I must trust myself to know when to trust or not trust and I’ve learned not to write off my needs, my feelings and even my premonitions.
[1] https://leadergrow.com/articles/198-3-tricky-questions-about-trust
The need to build and strengthen marriages and families is more pressing than ever. With alarming divorce rates, parenting challenges and complex family dynamics, maintaining healthy relationships is difficult.
That’s why, the Halifax Seventh-day Adventist church is hosting this two-week series called Family Matters. It’s a type of family tune-up that’s meant to equip families with the right tools to face real-world issues; to grow closer to each other and to God.
Join me in Halifax, Nova Scotia from April 26 to May 11 for this exciting family life series. Checkout our Facebook page at halifaxadventist.org
Family Matters Poster
Thankfulness. Appreciation. Gratefulness. Everyone has, at times felt the need to give thanks for a person, thing, situation, or experience. Building gratitude or appreciation for the blessings or trials that happen in life is an essential part of building happiness. That’s because gratitude is both vertical – towards God (in a spiritual sense), or horizontal, towards mankind.
The Bible encourages us to cultivate a spirit of gratitude. The apostle Paul who wrote “Show yourselves thankful,” and “thanked God unceasingly” for the positive response of others toward the message he shared with them (Colossians 3:15; 1 Thessalonians 2:13). So, lasting happiness comes not from merely saying ‘thank you’ occasionally but from having a grateful disposition. That, in turn, protects us from feelings of entitlement, envy, and resentment, that could alienate people from us and rob us of joy in life.
While, it seems easier to express gratitude when we are receiving blessings, it becomes more challenging if we’re going through trials or tough times. However, there are many blessings to be gained from showing appreciation in our everyday lives.
The Bible gives us this excellent advice: ‘Whatever things are true, lovable, well-spoken-of, virtuous, and praiseworthy, continue thinking about these things.’ (Philippians 4:8, footnote). The words “continue thinking about” point yet again to our need to have a thoughtful disposition, which is a prerequisite for a grateful spirit.
David prayed “I meditate on all your activity; I eagerly ponder over the work of your hands” (Psalm 143:5). David was not a distracted, superficial person. His thankful spirit stemmed from his regular contemplation of God’s ways, a practice he cultivated all his life (Psalm 71:5, 17).
Jesus Christ said “Practice giving, and people will give to you. They will pour into your laps a fine measure, pressed down, shaken together, and overflowing” (Luke 6:38). Ralph Waldo Emerson echoes this when he says we should “cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”
Don’t forget, our Creator himself showed appreciation—even to created beings. Hebrews 6:10 states: “God is not unrighteous so as to forget your work and the love you showed for his name.” Yes, our Creator considers it unrighteous, or unjust, to show a lack of gratitude.
A few years ago, I was leaving the office late. As I walked along the sidewalk next to my office building, I saw that a petite, elderly lady was struggling to walk against the force of the wind. She was about 4 feet tall and weighed about 90 pounds. Although I was in a hurry to get to my car, I stopped to ask her if she needed my help. When she graciously said “yes”, I took her arm and together we walked slowly past the tall, downtown building that had created a kind of wind tunnel that made it very difficult to walk. We continued walking for the next 400 meters or so before we bid each other goodbye. She was grateful. I was thankful.
Recently, I read a similar story about a New York taxi driver and an adventure he took with an old, frail woman. When he took the call, he knew it would be the last one for that shift. As he pulled up at the dimly lit house, he honked his horn. Getting no immediate response, he thought about racing away like the typical New York cab driver. Resisting that urge, he turned off the engine, entered the yard and went up the stairs to knock on the door.
A frail voice said” coming” and when the door slowly opened, he saw someone who looked like his grandmother. Patiently, he took her suitcase, then her arm and escorted her to the waiting car. Then she made a simple request; “Take me through the downtown one last time before my final stop, a convalescent home, where she would live out her final days.” That day, she got to revisit familiar places and he got an experience of a lifetime – great final moments with a complete stranger.
Everywhere, people are constantly on the move. We drive fast. We want food fast, and ‘fast’ food. We want ‘fast’ service and ‘fast’ resolutions to complex challenges. When we don’t get what we want fast, we become impatient. As we struggle with our own impatience, there is much we can learn by looking at the story of an impatient King in the book of 1 Samuel chapter 13.
A huge army of Philistines was going to fight against King Saul and his small band of soldiers. King Saul sent for Samuel, the priest, to come and make a sacrifice to God. Samuel sent word for King Saul to wait for about seven days. The Bible says, “Then he [Saul] waited seven days, according to the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and the people were scattered from him. So, Saul said, ‘Bring a burnt offering and peace offering here to me, and he offered the burnt offering” (1 Samuel 13:8-9, NKJV).
King Saul made the mistake of losing his patience. He felt he needed the Lord’s blessing and he wanted it right then. So, he disobeyed Samuel and offered an animal sacrifice to God himself rather than wait for the priest and prophet Samuel to do that. When Samuel came that very night, and he said to King Saul, “You have done foolishly. You have not kept the commandment of the Lord your God….” He also went on to say that God wanted to work a big miracle in King Saul’s behalf, but his disobedience had interfered with God’s plan. The consequences were dreadful: “But now your kingdom shall not continue,” the prophet told him. Later on, the impatient king did lose his kingdom to a young shepherd boy named David.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, I wonder what great moments we could have had with our friends and loved ones that we let slip away because we were not patient. How many times did we fly into a rage and say unloving words because we were not patient? Like King Saul, how many times have we spoiled God’s plans for our lives because we were not patient?
My mom died two years ago on Halloween. Since then, I’ve often wondered about how she faced death. Did she know it was near? Was she anxious about it? Or did she patiently wait for the day? Was she anxious to rest until the Lord returns?
Begs the question: “Do you sometimes get impatient for our Lord’s return?”
In the book of James, we read “… be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain. You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand” (James 5: 7-8, NKJV). God also describes His people, the redeemed, with these words, “Here is the patience of the saints: here are those who keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus” (Revelation 14:12. NKJV). Let’s all trust in God’s promises. Let’s all have faith in His Word. Let’s all pray for the spiritual gift of patience.
Overview
The term “bucket list” has become very popular in today’s vernacular. It usually refers to a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime. As we approach Christmas 2018, permit me to limit its meaning to the experiences or achievements one can have during the Christmas holiday period.
When we reflect on the Christmas story, we usually focus on the main characters: Mary, Joseph, and, of course, baby Jesus. The account of the ‘virgin’ birth of Jesus Christ in Luke 2:8–20 tells us that an angel of the Lord appeared to the shepherds who were living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. The glory of the Lord shone around the shepherds and they were frightened. But the angel said to them “Do not be afraid I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people” (Verses 1,2, N.I.V).
The Good News
The angel said to them “Today in the town of David, a Saviour has been born to you; he is Christ, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger”. To validate the news, a great company of the heavenly host suddenly appeared with the angel praising God and saying “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favour rests” Verse 13, N.I.V.)
There are four things I have learned from the shepherd’s reaction to the good news they received from the angel of the Lord. Those four lessons are the four items I have decided to put on my “bucket list” this Christmas. I invite you to join me in putting them at the top of your Christmas to-do list too.
My Christmas 2018 “Bucket List”
Item One: Believe the angel’s message about our Saviour’s birth. It’s true and relevant in 2018. The angel, accompanied by a great company of the heavenly host announced in spectacular fashion that Jesus Christ, the Messiah and our Saviour had been born. The shepherds were convinced by the angel. They believed the message that God had become man, and as soon as the heavenly host left, the shepherds hurriedly started their trek to look for the baby. What are you waiting for? Let’s go too. Hurry.
Item Two: Obey the angel’s message about our Saviour’s birth.
The shepherds did exactly as they were told. They when the angel left them, they got up and went straight to Bethlehem to “see this thing that has happened which the Lord has told us about” (verse 15, N.I.V). While I am not in any way, shape or form asking you to travel to Bethlehem in Israel, I am asking you to go and seek for Christ in the manger… among the abused, distressed, displaced, and destitute in their mangers. Don’t let the commercial advertisements hide him or the insular love that we reserve only for our own families. Remember, the shepherds left their own flocks and went to find the baby. So, seek out the God-Man and worship Him as the Messiah, our substitute for sin.
Item Three: Tell. Share the angel’s message with someone this Christmas.
When the shepherds reached Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph and the baby who was lying in the manger, “they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child.” This Christmas, I will tell someone that I found Jesus who was born many years ago and that they too could find him if they would hurry to “‘Bethlehem”. I will tell them what he has done for me and especially show them the love that flows through my heart from him. Join me and the angels as we testify of his birth.
Item Four: Experience the joy of knowing that everything God says is true. Worship Him.
All who heard the shepherds’ message about the birth of Jesus were amazed at what they said to them. Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.”
When we find Jesus, we experience holy wonder because everything he says is true… just as we have been told. Sweet. Then, all we can do is to praise and glorify God for all he has given us. I want to do just that this Christmas. I am doing that this Christmas. Want to join me? Let’s do it. Make my bucket list your reality too and receive a Christmas blessing.
During this year’s thanksgiving weekend, a group us church leader organized “A Night under the Stars”, a one-night camp-out on the grounds of our local church school. We also asked campers to disconnect from their mobile devices and to evaluate what is our true source of connectedness. Are we connected to God Almighty or the almighty mobile device?
You may have heard the saying that “the battle is for the mind.” That’s because one of the ways we connect with the world and with God is through our thoughts. Connecting constantly with your device influences our thoughts and moods. I’ve proven this in my spiritual walk. My thoughts do impact my spirituality.
This is fuelled in part by what are called common patterns of distorted thinking called cognitive distortions. These distorted thoughts disrupt spiritual growth and cause distress, anxiety and unhealthy feelings and lead us to misinterpret, or to over interpret the data of the world. We also can live abnormal lives or in an exaggerated (embellished) reality.
Joyce Meyer has a very catchy phrase to describe this type of negative thinking. She said that too many people have “stinkin thinkin” or negative thinking. No one is immune from “stinkin thinkin.” What we choose to think about and dwell on in this life will make or break us and determine what type of person we will end up becoming in this life.
The wise man Solomon captures this reality in Proverbs 23:7: “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” The key word in this verse, “thinks”, tells us that God is targeting our thought process – what we think about on a daily basis. God really wants to come after our minds and get them properly cleaned up. Many sinful attitudes, fears, resentments, aversions and anxieties come from distorted thinking. While these patterns come from within, they are also ‘open doors’ for satanic influence as the devil can exploit and further twist our experience of reality. The world too is able to exploit cognitive distortions both for profit and for influence (as happens with advertising).
My blog this month considers three (out of ten) common cognitive distortions I’ve observed in my interactions with Christians, and consider some of the impacts on our spiritual lives. Next month, I will share my thoughts on how we as Christians can overcome these cognitive distortions.
- All or Nothing Thinking – There is very little “middle ground” in all or nothing thinking. You see things in black or white categories. If your effort falls short of “perfect”, you see yourself as a total failure. You are either a hero, or a total loser. Small mistakes are seen as total failure. Perhaps a person on diet slips, and has a large piece of cake, and then thinks, I am a total failure. I just gained ten pounds.
There is also the tendency in all or nothing thinking to think that affirming one thing means denying others. Say I have four valuable things in front of me – A, B, C and D. If, for example, I say, I like “A” that means I am somehow saying that B, C and D are of no value whatsoever. Of course, that may not be the case at all.
Similarly, the all or nothing thinker takes offense if your praise someone else because that means they are not praiseworthy. In reality, there are often many different outcomes and possible combinations that are both praiseworthy and acceptable. However, the all or nothing thinker, because of this cognitive distortion has a difficult time remembering and accepting this.
There are any number of issues that revolve around anxiety (e.g. performance anxiety) and fear (fear of failure), resentments and depression that set in because of this cognitive distortion. At the personal level the result is either pride, where one thinks of themselves or their performance too highly, or low self-esteem where one, seeing something less than perfect in their performance deems themselves to be a total loser.
Socially, there is often hostility to all opinions that are not 100 percent in step with what the all or nothing thinker claims is best. Such people often take offense when none is intended.
Affirming someone else’s thoughts or opinions, for example, means you’re are discarding or ridiculing the all or nothing thinker’s views and opinions. In this way, all or nothing thinking tends to make people hostile, fearful, thin-skinned and unnecessarily insistent on perfect agreement or outcomes. The distortion leads them to scorn and even ridicule people unnecessarily. Thus, the Devil can easily lock the all or nothing thinker into ever deepening degrees of negativity, anxiety and fear.
- Emotional Reasoning – A person assumes that their negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: “I feel it. Therefore, it must be true.” “I feel anxious when I fly, so airplanes are not safe.” That I am feeling bad about what happened at a church service does not mean it was a bad church service.
Feelings like these have the capacity to halt reason. We need to be very careful to remember that feelings are just feelings. While they ought not to be wholly discounted, neither should they be the deciding factor. Many of our feelings are flat out wrong, simply mistaken or grounded in deep-seated trauma or powerful past events. It’s therefore important to remember that feelings are just that – feelings.
Several years ago, I was walking with a friend when a dog broke free from its owner and came running up to us. I have a fear of dogs having been bitten three times, including our family dog o the last occasion. While I was afraid of dogs, my friend like dogs. She had grown up with them and could see that the dog was lumbering up to us to greet us rather than attack us. Both of us were looking at the same data, and both of us had different feelings. She was right, there was nothing to fear. The dog came, sniffed her hand, wagged its tail, and then looked at me. No harm.
The point is that nether set of feelings changed the reality even though hers were right and mine were wrong. Moreover, it’s not difficult to see how the Devil and the world can easily exploit our feelings to make us think things are not necessarily how they are. An important part of spiritual growth is to learn how to discern feelings, and see them as part of the picture, not the whole picture.
- Jumping to Conclusions –This cognitive distortion is manifested in two ways:
Mind reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and don’t bother to check it out. “I just know he/she thought I was an idiot,” even though he/she acted nicely.
Fortune telling error: A person jumps to conclusions about what others are thinking and feeling about us and assume it is negative, without any evidence. “Natalie didn’t stop to say hello. She must be angry at me.” Well, perhaps, or perhaps too she was in a hurry, or maybe she didn’t even see you or know you were there. Or, Pastor B cast a negative glance at me. He must be upset; I am going to lose my position. Maybe, or perhaps as he was looking in your direction he remembered something he forgot to do, or an argument he had with his wife. Perhaps too, he is hurrying to the bathroom.
Jumping to conclusions lads to many needless and baseless fears and anxieties. Mind reading for instance, is rooted in pride because we trust too much that we have command all the facts and really know what is going on when we don’t. This is a distortion. We must cultivate a healthy type of reserve in our conclusions about what the others are thinking or about their motives. We ought to ask of God a certain kind of “blindness” that fails to notice so many things we really don’t even understand.
The fortune telling error distortion is often rooted in a form of pride called grandiosity or showiness, where we think we are always the main thing on other people’s mind, or the reason they act. I once knew a man who was very paranoid about people of a quiet disposition. Someone was always thinking badly about him. I would often remind him that people had better things to do with their time than think of him or ways to trip him up.
A key aim of spiritual growth is the renewal of our minds. In the sanctification process, the lord wants to put right thinking into our minds and private thought processes. This kind of inner transformation or sanctification can only be accomplished if we are willing to fully cooperating with the Lord by claiming the incredible, supernatural power of His Holy Spirit that is available to us.
As a starting point, learning to recognize and name the common forms of distorted thinking can be useful. Once known, we can gain the mastery over these mental hurdles and begin to experience greater freedom and authority over our thoughts. Since most feelings come from thoughts, our emotional life will also be in greater balance. This includes having authority over, and freedom from anxiety, anger, and sadness.
How can this happen?
Next month, I will share some of the biblical assurances God has provided to help us change what we choose to think about and dwell on. Stay tuned!
“Hello “Are!” It’s been a while since I heard from you. Are you still there?
“Yes. But quiet.”
” Alright, I’m checking in with you because I think you are being sidelined.”
“Why do I say so?”
“Well, I’ll tell you.”
At first, I thought it was just an oversight. You weren’t included in an email or invited to a conversation in which you should have been involved. However, the evidence is mounting that you are not a part of the inner circle anymore. So, I believe it is time to address the elephant in the room or the moose in the room as Nova Scotians would say.
“Are”, you’re plural but when I search for you I can’t find you even when you should be there. Your singular brother “Is” has taken over and this bothers me. In virtually every sphere – in written or spoken conversations; on radio and television, on the Internet and across social media – “Is” is there. He’s masquerading everywhere whether he’s right or wrong; whether he’s correctly employed or not; at wrong time and in the wrong tense. He relishes your position so much that he spends every waking moment contributing to the slow demise of our English language.
A few notable instances come to mind.
Firstly, I’m convinced that most of the television media have sidelined you. Journalists and television anchors have been caught saying things like “There “Is” many things to report today”. Even CNN’s Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer who once held your torch seem to have let you go for your partner “Is.” I know you should be there “Are” but alas desertion comes to mind.
Recently, I heard that many University professors, who for many years had your back, have also traded loyalties. Holders of Ph.D.’s, Master’s and Bachelor’s degrees no longer want to use you as part of their vocabulary. It seems like “Is” is reigning supreme. What’s even more egregious is that you have started to be replaced not only in speech but in written publications. Editors, once known as the gate keepers of our precious English language seem to have forgotten how to use you. It feels like the worst thing in the world and in a sense, it is.
“Are”, I must also let you know that your absence has made me experience mental distress and health issues. “Is” is so prevalent and annoying that I develop a serious earache every time he’s out of place. And that’s way too often. In my view, he’s guilty of verbal harassment and should be charged for creating an English language crisis, and given a stiff fine. My constant fear now is that prolonged sidelining will play with my emotions and imagination and make me question my sanity and grammar skills.
“Are”, are you crying?” I know this is sad but this is no time for tears. “Is” must be stopped immediately. And I have some ideas about how to do that.
Together, we must protest and call him out in every radio and television interview, in every newspaper article, in every op-ed, column, book and magazine. We must troll the Internet to point out every instance where he has wrongfully usurped your positon. And we must enter every classroom where students first get introduced to you, and every boardroom where they claim to practice inclusion and diversity and insist that you get re-instated to a place of honour around the table
“Are” I know you can still fit in and add value to our conversations. That’s why I’m appealing to every self-respecting English-speaking person who knows grammar, let’s put “Is” back in his rightful place and let’s reinstate you “Are” to your rightful place in our language. If we don’t “Are” would be gone forever and that would be a very sad thing. There must be no delay or we’ll be sorry we didn’t act sooner. The next generation must know you and your worth. We all must see to that.
