“Then the children of Israel journeyed from Rameses to Succoth, about six hundred thousand men on foot, besides children. A mixed multitude went up with them also, and flocks and herds — a great deal of livestock” (Exodus 12:38, New King James Version).

When Moses led the Israelites out of their Egyptian bondage, certain non-Israelites joined the group. The Old Testament refers to these Gentiles as the mixed multitude. The mixed multitude, mentioned again in Numbers 11:4, is there described as the instigators who caused the Israelites to complain about the manna that God was providing as food. In complaining about the manna, the Israelites voiced their longing for the foods they had enjoyed in Egypt, foods such as fish, cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic.

Since we are in the eighth month since the coronavirus arrived in my home province, it seems like a great idea to talk about complaining! We all know that it is very easy to do! Right? We complain about wearing masks, physical distancing, the weather, the temperature, the house being a mess, too much to do, money, work, traffic, etc.

Does this list seem familiar to you? Unfortunately, I complain about these things too. Actually, as I write this blog, I have to check myself because I just had the urge to complain about not finding my notepad where I left it. The struggle is real!

This month, I will be sharing with you some of the powerful negative effects complaining can have on you and others, and what we can do about it. I want to help you and myself become aware of our thoughts, to shift our mindset, to learn to live with gratitude, and to invite positivity and happiness into our lives.

Negative Effects of Complaining

• Complaining sucks out a spirit of gratitude. You cannot complain and be grateful at the same time. It is not possible!

• Complaining brings negativity into your thinking. When you focus on what is bothering you or not working in your life, you automatically enter a space of negativity and pessimism and attract more of the same. Your focus is on a particular thing, often a trivial thing, and you’re losing your mind over it.
• Complaining causes stress, which is bad for your health. Ilissa Nico[1] a psychotherapist, in her article “Be Your Best Self” tells us that “people who complain tend to alienate friends and family, release higher than normal stress hormones, and have a drastically reduced quality of life.”

• Complaining is annoying and makes others uncomfortable and unhappy.                                                                                              

Complaining can be annoying especially to the person who is listening to the complaints. It becomes even more frustrating when the                                 complainer seems unwilling to do anything to resolve the issues about which they’re complaining, and rejects help and advice about how to                   solve the problem.

• Complaining affects both leadership and vision.                                                                                                                                          

Just ask Miriam and Aaron when they complained about Moses’ leadership, and forgot that they too should have been modelling good                             leadership.  At that point in time, their vision was also badly skewed. They lost sight of what God was using them to do.

• Complaining about things that you have no control over is a massive waste of time. 

This is especially true if you complain about things that have not yet happened. Complaining, for example about hat your husband might say                  about a leaky faucet or a nail in the tire of his car that you borrowed does do you any good. He just might be quiet and disappoint you.

• Complaining is contagious – a very easy habit to pick up. Keeping company with complainers makes you one of them. It spreads like a wild fire, bringing down others around you. You have heard them — the people who go on and on about a parent, spouse, sibling, neighbor, friend or boss who never stops complaining.

• Complaining is a conditioned response to aspects of life we do not like or understand.Most times, we do not even know that we are doing it.  We even complain about things over which we have absolutely no control, like the weather or traffic. No wonder we feel drained by the end of the day.

• Complaining dishonours God. When we complain, we display a lack of trust and lack of faith in God and His ability to provide solutions to our problems. But is anything too hard for the Lord?

WOW! This is a long list of negatives and there may be more of them that I did not capture.

THAT SAID…IF YOU ARE reading this, YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY INTERESTED IN making a change. RIGHT? WELL, THE PERFECT PLACE TO BEGIN IS TO STOP COMPLAINING!

How can you and I do that?

Let us talk about some things we can do to STOP COMPLAINING. After that, I will invite you to join me as we take a one-week ‘No Complaining Challenge’🙂

Here are TEN THINGS you can do to help you to stop complaining: 

1.  Think before you speak!

Think about the thing or issue about which you are complaining before speaking. Is the thing valid? Do you have control over it? How else can we express our feelings? Do you need to say anything at all? Will it help to complain about it or does it bring negativity to those around you? I you said no to any of these questions, don’t speak. My husband has the right attitude about this. He does not worry about anything he cannot fix at the very moment. If it must wait until tomorrow, he will deal with it then.

2.   Focus more on yourself and less on what others are doing

Sometimes a lot of our complaining is directed toward the actions of others—someone taking out their grocery too slowly at the supermarket checkout, especially self checkout, a friend showing up late for a ‘hangout’, or someone chewy so loudly you could hear them. Instead of focusing on what others are doing, pay attention to what you are doing. Maybe you need to slow down in Atlantic Superstore or Sobeys because you don’t need to be in that much of a hurry to get to the register or self checkout. You can also spend some time reflecting and drinking some water as you await your friend who is running a bit late for lunch.

3. Turn  NEGATIVES into POSITIVE 

If I want to complain about dirty dishes in the sink or stuff being left out of place, which sometimes I do, I stop, and say, “Let me do the dishes”, or “It’s just a house with a few things out of place, not a national disaster. You are tired, rest a bit and then you will have enough energy to take care of it.” The funny thing is that as soon as I put things into perspective, I begin to feel better about the situation and being able to take care of it. Wow. It’s that simple.

4.     Express gratitude often – try for EVERY DAY!

Complaining about something only draws more attention to it. Being grateful for something focuses the mind on all the good things that you truly have. When my friend cancelled our ‘girls-night-out’, I stopped to think how grateful I was to get an early night’s rest in a long time. If you write down five things you are grateful for – start small – you will find more and more things for which to be grateful! This zaps away complaining and negativity.

5. Make sure you keep company with POSITIVE, GRATEFUL PEOPLE!

“Birds of a feather flock together”. So, the less you are around complainers, the less you will complain! Follow this advice: “You are the company you keep. So, choose your company wisely. 🙂

6. EXERCISE – Run! Walk! Jog!

When I feel out of sorts and unhappy, I go for a walk or run! Being outdoors in nature, by myself, helps to clear my mind. Sometimes, I even talk to God about my dreams and plans. This allows me to focus on other things and to change my mood. I don’t want to spread my bad mood to anyone else!

7. WRITE – Write Blogs, journals, and perhaps a book

I have not tried to consistently write in a journal myself because I do not like to write down my most intimate thoughts. I shudder at the thought of someone else reading about my thoughts. However, I know that writing can be therapeutic so I write my monthly blog and gather content for my next book. This activity not only clears your mind and can bring perspective about challenges you are facing. If you are consistently journal, you can also measure personal growth in several areas over time.

8. LAUGH a lot! 

Several psychologists and therapists have talked about the importance of laughter! A good belly full of laughter works wonders. When you feel the urge to complain coming on, tune into a good comedy show or movie, look at yesteryear fashion from old pictures, and laugh your head off. Laughter is still the best medicine. 🙂

9. When you feel like complaining, stop and consider the LESS FORTUNATE. 

Living in a world with so much suffering, it is sobering to stop and think about those who have less than what you have in life, especially when you are tempted to make a mole-sized irritation into a mountain. I once read a story where someone was complaining about having only one banana. After peeling it, he threw away the skin and started to eat it. Soon he noticed that someone had picked up the skin and was ‘wolfing it down’. This realization that there are others worse off that you puts things into perspective for me. I must be truly grateful for every blessing  I have from God because there are others who are worse off than me.

10. Take the ‘NO COMPLAINING’ Challenge and change your perspective.  

Now that you have learned about these very important and sobering lessons. It’s time for us to embark on our 5-DAY workweek ‘NO COMPLAINING’ CHALLENGE! I challenge YOU and MYSELF to make the change. It’s never too late to do so.  Invite your family and friends, church brethren, and co-workers. It is time to make a change. We can do this together. READY. SET. GO.

 

[1] https://www.risingrootsnj.com/