Monthly Archives: September 2018

“Hello “Are!” It’s been a while since I heard from you. Are you still there?

“Yes. But quiet.”

” Alright, I’m checking in with you because I think you are being sidelined.”

“Why do I say so?”

“Well, I’ll tell you.”

At first, I thought it was just an oversight. You weren’t included in an email or invited to a conversation in which you should have been involved. However, the evidence is mounting that you are not a part of the inner circle anymore. So, I believe it is time to address the elephant in the room or the moose in the room as Nova Scotians would say.

“Are”, you’re plural but when I search for you I can’t find you even when you should be there. Your singular brother “Is” has taken over and this bothers me. In virtually every sphere – in written or spoken conversations; on radio and television, on the Internet and across social media – “Is” is there. He’s masquerading everywhere whether he’s right or wrong; whether he’s correctly employed or not; at wrong time and in the wrong tense. He relishes your position so much that he spends every waking moment contributing to the slow demise of our English language.

A few notable instances come to mind.

Firstly, I’m convinced that most of the television media have sidelined you. Journalists and television anchors have been caught saying things like “There “Is” many things to report today”.  Even CNN’s Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer who once held your torch seem to have let you go for your partner “Is.” I know you should be there “Are” but alas desertion comes to mind.

Recently, I heard that many University professors, who for many years had your back, have also traded loyalties. Holders of Ph.D.’s, Master’s and Bachelor’s degrees no longer want to use you as part of their vocabulary. It seems like “Is” is reigning supreme.  What’s even more egregious is that you have started to be replaced not only in speech but in written publications. Editors, once known as the gate keepers of our precious English language seem to have forgotten how to use you. It feels like the worst thing in the world and in a sense, it is.

“Are”, I must also let you know that your absence has made me experience mental distress and health issues. “Is” is so prevalent and annoying that I develop a serious earache every time he’s out of place. And that’s way too often. In my view, he’s guilty of verbal harassment and should be charged for creating an English language crisis, and given a stiff fine. My constant fear now is that prolonged sidelining will play with my emotions and imagination and make me question my sanity and grammar skills.

“Are”, are you crying?” I know this is sad but this is no time for tears. “Is” must be stopped immediately. And I have some ideas about how to do that.

Together, we must protest and call him out in every radio and television interview, in every newspaper article, in every op-ed, column, book and magazine. We must troll the Internet to point out every instance where he has wrongfully usurped your positon. And we must enter every classroom where students first get introduced to you, and every boardroom where they claim to practice inclusion and diversity and insist that you get re-instated to a place of honour around the table

“Are” I know you can still fit in and add value to our conversations. That’s why I’m appealing to every self-respecting English-speaking person who knows grammar, let’s put “Is” back in his rightful place and let’s reinstate you “Are” to your rightful place in our language. If we don’t “Are” would be gone forever and that would be a very sad thing.  There must be no delay or we’ll be sorry we didn’t act sooner. The next generation must know you and your worth.  We all must see to that.

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