Monthly Archives: February 2018
Valentine’s Day is celebrated every year on February 14. Many people either love the day or hate it. I actually have a love-hate relationship with the day. I don’t mind the red but I hate the pink and the ubiquitous little sugary-tasting, heart-shaped candy. Many break the bank to buy jewellery and flowers for their loved ones, and there’s a whirlpool of passion, if only for a single day. Everything seems contrived: mass dining, gossiping and giggling, and a whole lot of lovey-dovey fluff. Even couples choosing to ‘break up’ for maximum negative impact.
Over the past few years, I’ve revised my thinking about Valentine’s Day. With so much hatred, sorrow and disappointment and in the world, I’ve chosen to embrace the ‘good’ about it; to show love. I’ve also attributed more meaningful sentiments to the colours symbolizing the day: red for the blood that flowed so freely on Calvary for me, you and the whole world; and white for the purity of character. This year, I’m trying my hand at a bit of poetry. I’ve written an ode to the day of love. Hope it brings meaning to you on that day, and always.
A Valentine’s Day Ode (‘Kinda’)
Love is a divine principle, forever in the heart of a Creator for his creatures
Love is an expression of gratitude – to him, to her, to them
Love is surrender, a breaking heart for a beloved’s misfortune
Love is friendship, beautiful and secure.
What is the path to love?
Second chances; overlooking myriad faults
Winding, meandering through bitterness, tears and sorrow
Slaying your ego, that small, puffed up part of you
Stepping into the fear that wants to freeze your heart and close your mind.
Silencing the inner critic so you can respond to the instinctual voice that’s also speaking to you
Being able to give and receive love.
What is the look of love?
A pair of wide outstretched hands welcoming you into a warm embrace
Longing eyes meeting even if for a brief wink across a crowded room
Gut wrenching laughter; wry smiles; families dining and bonding
Attentive silence when you are pensive, solemn, alone
Romantic celebrations, imprisonment, and even martyrdom
Words of trust, and caring that tell you to be careful
Your beloved at the window waving a sweet goodbye.
A whisper in the still of the night and the awe that befalls a magnificent sight
The cries of rapture from the delivery room amidst the beating of a newborn’s heart
A cross on a hill, a Savior and resurrection day.
What does love feel like?
A warm touch; a reassuring tap on the shoulder in the morning
Spasms of pain from a broken heart; two hands intertwined,
A hug that makes you want to suspend time except for you two
The joy of cleaning up watery puke because you know that person would do the same for you without question
The warmth of wanting each other when times are good and a craving for each other’s presence when they are really bad
Hope. A nervous heartbeat
A quiet acceptance that they’ll always be there.
What is the taste of love?
The pleasure of soft, wet kisses on the lips; have one, then two, never get enough
The thrill of thick, chocolate covered hazelnuts and strawberries melting on the tip of your tongue
The saltiness of tears streaming down the face which bring out the flavour of you
Spicy, adventurous, and passionate caresses; nervousness that makes your stomach heave in the most pleasant way
Sometimes it’s a little bitterness too – a lesson harshly learned; a stake of betrayal driven through the heart and mind.
Like you.
What’s the smell of love?
The unique smell of a worn shirt – no deodorant, no perfumes, no fragranced detergents
The menthol of pain rubs being massaged into sore, tired limbs after a strenuous workout in the gym
The smell of perfume, a nice fragrance – lavender incense
Sweaty feet; breast or formula milk
Lube. Grease.
What is the goal of love?
To mimic God
To experience him; to know him; to feel him; to talk with him
To believe in Him; to believe His word
To put others first; to care; to share and to give to others
The lame; the poor, the blind, the naked; the undeserving and unlovable
Caring about another person’s “highest good.”
Happiness.
Procreation.
Edification.
Eternal life.
What will you do with love?
Experience it. Know it.
Feel it. Devour it.
Send cards, flowers and valuable gifts.
Let it consume you.
Love – even if it’s only for a brief moment.
Every February 14.
There are several dictionary definitions for the word “reach”. However, these two resonate with me: “to strain after something; or to succeed in achieving something” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/reach.
When my daughter was a toddler, my husband and I bought her a container of large-sized blocks. She adored the gift of mostly primary-coloured plastic blocks: red, yellow, blue. There were also a few green ones. Our intentions were to teach her about colours, to count, and especially to allow her to be creative. Sure enough, she did all of the things we anticipated. What we didn’t countenance or make allowance for were some of the things her young developing mind would also inspire her to do with our gift.
You see, in a relatively short space of time, she found a purpose not only for the blocks inside the container but for the container itself. She masterfully converted it from a storage receptacle for the blocks to a “step stool” that allowed her to reach out and grab anything she wanted that was out of her reach – a cup that most times was filled with liquids; a book from its stack; fruits, cookies and other food items; and even soil from my potted indoor plants.
Oftentimes, we wondered how several items that were supposedly out of her reach were on the floor or otherwise out of place. Then one day, we saw her process, first-hand. Wanting to reach up to the kitchen sink faucet, she carefully maneuvered her “step stool” into position. Then she mounted it, carefully balancing herself, as she tiptoed and with determination strained and turned on the faucet. I still remember the intense look on her face as she playfully splashed the water through her fingers, creating a soggy mess on the countertop and kitchen floor. Although, she had reached up and achieved her goal, I rushed to stop her folly before serious property damage could result.
As I reflect on this incident, I think about the many powerful men who have been dethroned due to the recent wave of sexual harassment allegations that were brought against them. In a sense, they had carefully positioned their “step stools” and accomplished their goals only to leave a big, soggy mess behind. My heart also goes out to the children – young boys and girls – in the homes of “the fallen”, or those vacated by them. Who will teach them about appropriate expressions of masculinity, and how to speak up in a timely manner? Who will help them cope at school and college with the negative fallout from the inappropriate behavior of their dads, brothers, and uncles? Who will help them maintain the same sense of value for their dads as they have for their moms? Perhaps, more importantly, who will help them develop respect for self, for others, and for humanity as a whole?
As a society, we must all reach out and take on the challenge of making a difference for the next generation of boys and girls. Action is required from perpetrators – they must recognize that time’s up; and victims alike – it’s time to speak up. Action is also required from the mothers of the children who have been directly affected. Right now, you all are hurting from the betrayal of your own mates. So take a pause to reflect and to acknowledge your own feelings. Then, reach out to your children, both boys and girls.
No doubt, the embarrassing and shameful news has reached the ears of those old enough to receive and process it. They too are hurting. Have candid, age-appropriate talks with them. Remember, teenage boys especially. They are notoriously difficult to reach; at least that is what a bunch of teachers say. Avoid selfish decisions. Take appropriate action not only for the short-term but for the long-term as well. We all need to create a better world for our sons and daughters to grow up in. I encourage you to take your “step stool” and position it. Then reach out to achieve what matters, and enjoy the “splash” you make.
